2011

Dear 2011

LOVE
   To do: Learn to trust more.
   Wish: To be happy, contented and satisfied.

GRADES
   To do: This last term I will study, do my homeworks and read my lessons.
   Wish: To pass all of my remaining subjects ESPECIALLY accounting and graduate after my OJT.

 FAMILY
   To do: To be more open to them.
   Wish: To have a more bonded family and relatives.

 CHEER:
   To do: Consistency in everything.
   Wish: A pass which I could contribute.

CAREER:

   To do: Impress with work with what I have and what I am.
   Wish: Have a good OJT company that will be the start of my career.

All in all
   To do: Decide on what I really want.
   Wish: For everyone to accept me who I really am.


 Goodbye 2010 you some of you have destroyed me as a person but I will continue to fight for myself. For as long as I know what I'm doing is what I want then I'm happy. No matter what the consequences are. I will fight for my life, my love myself. Thank you friends, family and you for being with me. Everyday I'm learning and everyday we will live life with no regrets nor expectations.

HELLO!

Heartaching pounding someone's smashing

I'm not happy with this night.. I just wished you didn't sleep here because it's like sleeping alone. You didn't even say good night not hugged me. You knew something was wrong with me.. but what did you do? NOTHING. again you've given up.

I'm not feeling happy anymore, everything's not the say anymore..

Effort

I miss you now :((( I know you love me and I want to be with you now and never ever let go but...

If this is what I have to do for you to learn, if this is for the better you and me if this is for our love then I will take all this pain. 

Right now I'm dying.

Every time my cell phone makes a sound my heart pounds like hell wishing it's you. 

Every time someone knocks on my door I'm open it right away because I'm hoping it's you.

I'm even hoping that you read all of this just for you to give a hint that I really do love you and I just want you to learn.

PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME :( I know I left you now but I'm so afraid that what if this would make you feel that you don't need me after all. That you will find someone better than me :((

I guess that's the risk of it...And I will risk it. Because I'd rather suffer now than suffer(worst) again after a month or two.

This is driving me crazy. Well I know you can do it, I know you can wait I know, I know :( I hope so, please do. It's hard but I know you will fight for it, don't give up to easily. You can do it right?

I love you so so much.. and don't ever think that I gave up on you that easy, how I wish you didn't do that everything would be perfect then. But no it's not so i will just patiently, painfully, wait for you.

To give me all your love is all I ever asked, Cause what you don't understand is I’d catch a grenade for ya

Trying to hold on but didn’t even know YOU wasted it all

"Space? We'll see about that if it will help or ill get used to it."

For you or for me?

Hey you, thank you so much for everything. You've been so great the past 6 months, I can't believe how strong we're going. It's amazing. :) When I was in the car earlier, I was watching the amazing race again, and I was imagining you and me there. How cool would that be? If we could travel together like that, just the both of us. Away from the world we're living in now.. I wish I could be with you now. I want to hug you.. I need you with me always.. When I'm not with you, like now, I feel so lonely. :( I just patiently wait here, for you to text me that you're done.. Patiently ah, meaning I'm used to it already. Haha. I wish you could move closer to me, like next door or something. So we could chill together alwaysss like in the movies! That would so sweet and perfect. But I guess I'll have to wait until the day we live together. I always want to tell you how proud I am. We've grown so much from when we started. There were so many issues that tried to bring us down, but we always fought our way through to make this work. It shows me how special this relationship is to you, and even though it isn't perfect always, you still keep me close. And you don't give up on me when I make mistakes. I've matured so much from how I was before, I honestly do learn from my past. And I don't intend on history repeating itself. I'm confident that we can make this go as far as we want it to. We just need to keep being there for each other, and keep understanding each other in every way possible, since that's what people do when they love each other.

I'll miss you...

:'(

Text me kung nandito ka na

After EVERYTHING that happened what do you expect me to feel? At first I thought of the fairytale scene where I would find you infront of my house waiting outside the rain. But no.. you had my hopes very high. I checked the window and I see no one but just my reflection "umaasa."
Then it hit me, that message is not for me that's for someone else going to your house. someone who wou will meet up with cuddle with, kiss, sleep with in short my replacement. I know you did that already to your ex and why not do it to me? You've been caught and then why not just do it. "We're not together by that time." I could remember those lines coming from your mouth when you told me about that.
3days ago, I know I will forgive you and want to be with you again. But now? I'm starting to doubt.. can you really be my sweet serendipity? Is it really worth it?
I'm even doubting if you will ever fight for me or just give up and get mad. Like what you do always when we fight,
1.I get mad
2.You say sorry
3.I don't forgive
4.You get mad
5.You give up
6.I give in
7.We're happy again


Now what will happen is step number 6 is not do be done? does that mean that no happiness will happen?

I guess I don't know.. nothing..

You think I don't know but I really do

I hate it whenever I know and you don't know that I know. Sometimes I really get hurt with your so called friendliness because it's not just friendliness.



You're having fun with that but with me knowing it burns my heart and and :(((( makes me really feel bad. It's like you cheating all over again. What if that goes on and you fall in love. Now what's left for me? The investment will be just so useless.

But now I just let it all up to you, it's all you but like what I always say if you're JUST gonna live me then leave me now. Don't waste my time because I want this time of mine to be devoted for the one I love and will love forever.

Hopefully it's you...