Once again it's the time of the year
Love
It's the time of the year again when I'm feeling depressed and down. Alone, useless and IRRELEVANT. I wish I had someone, I don't wish that it's you but I just wish the I had someone who I could talk to about everything and will accept me for the childish, fun party boy that I am. :((( I know it's not you, I found it but I screwed it up. And now I'm alone. alone again at this time of the year. Christmas is the worst time ofrelies the year for me when you're alone. All the christmas songs playing, and most specially about lovers. But how about those alone man or woman who only relies for a good christmas not with his family but with his special someone. How about me? who will love me this christmas day? For whom will I spend my money and time looking for gifts if I don't have someone. I just want to cry, now. Here we go again, how I hate this feeling. I know I have to move one, because I know you're not starting to move one. yes, it makes me so sad because I want to be that person but I can't accept you :( So I guess we both just have to move on. I MEAN it's me ho have to move one, just me. I thought I moved on already but the truth is not yet... I still do love you and care for you it's just that I can't because you're still like that. And you know I can't accept that besides from your bratty self.. I think I just have to find someone, or worst learn to live alone.
Friends
Don't mistake me from hating them, i do love all of my friends but I'm just looking for a new set of friends who would be there all the time and ready to party with me. Yeah I know partying all the time is bad, but when you want to find someone, drink to forget something, unwind because you're sick of your life you just wanna go out dinner, drink and dance. And I can't do that alone:( I need a new set of friends who would party with me because I'm sad and wants to forget everything... I don't want to get rid of my friends. Don't mistake me for that. They're just different. They like to eat dinner and talk AND GO HOME EARLY. They could stay late I guess but I have to give them money and bring them all home. As for my other set of friends, they have other priorities. It's a set of friends where it's composed of lovers and again connected to my first topic. Who is my partner? :( They would just cancel on the very last minute because they have their companion always there. And me? Once they cancel who will I go with? :( and I'm on my way.. It's just me.. alone.. again... I don't have someone who will be there ready to go with me anytime anywhere. So what now? I guess that's the key, really is to have a special someone.. and guess what I don't have one.
Work
I'm quitting my job, why? The truth is, it's too far. I guess I'm stupid because I know for a fact that
1. It's a fucking good company with good products
2. My pay is really high reaching to almost 30 thousand per month for a FIRST job.
3. It's a chill job I can do Facebook, not go to work go anywhere and still don't get caught.
So why am I quitting?
1. It's eating all of my time.
-That's basically it. Time for what? To go to the gym, exercise, meet with my friends and be with someone(which I don't have) PLUS it's fucking probinsya and far which makes me so tired.. MAYBE I'm just really immature because I want something which I know is impossible for me to get. It's really a good company, they tried their try best to make me open up to them by performing and leading the prayer but it all boils to me being the quiet and shy person I am. And yes I am shy when it comes to work/school. In a classroom setting or in a meeting setting. I'm just really shy to express what's in my mind when I know I may be wrong BECAUSE I'm new. and do you think it's only in the beginning? No you're wrong, I'll get very used to it and won't be talking for the rest of my life. I guess I can't start wrong, because once I do? It's gonna be wrong for the rest of my life.
